Links of the Week – April 17, 2015
* 18 Puppies On Their Way To Their New Homes!
* The Great Garden Gnome Massacre
* Long Exposure Light Photos – (Gorgeous!)
* Doctors To University: Fire That ‘Quack’ Dr. Oz
* Defeating Polio: The Disease That Paralyzed America
* Anne Lamott Shares All That She Knows: ‘Everyone Is Screwed Up, Broken, Clingy And Scared’
* MLB Teams Boost Mental Health Support Systems
* Love Is Not Supposed To Hurt… Then Why?
* New Study Says Tylenol Numbs Emotions – (Rushes to weekly grocery list…)
* 7 Things To Do When Your Kid Points Out Someone’s Differences – (Great stuff!)
* Hidden Cameras Reveal Airport Workers Stealing From Luggage – (Why are people so sorry?)
* Yogi Berra, Ready For The Game!
* Mindfulness Meditation Can Help Relieve Anxiety And Depression
* What Self-Love Means: 20+ Ways To Be Good To Yourself
* Anne Lamott – Becoming The Person You’re Supposed To Be: Where To Start
* How To Get To Know Yourself In 5 Fool-Proof Steps
* Baddest Mother Ever: Ten Signs I’ve Found The Right Biscuit Joint – (Link of the week!)
* A Boy and Her Dog: Owning My Shame – (I feel so much of this.)
* Fisticuffs And Shenanigans: Pride, You Made Me Proud
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“You can only go halfway into the darkest forest; then you’re coming out the other side.”
— Chinese proverb
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Links of the Week – April 10, 2015
Bike lane – Roberto Clemente Bridge – Pittsburgh
* Study: People Who Love Grilled Cheese Have More Sex, Are More Charitable
* This Dog Was Adopted After Five Years Of Waiting When His Photo Went Crazy On Facebook
* Longtime Couple Found That Clothes Didn’t Make The Man
* Gay Boy Scout Leader Hired In New York: “We said yes to him irrespective of his sexual orientation”
* White House Says It Supports Efforts To Ban Gay Conversion Therapy
* Gay Conversion Therapists Claim Most Patients Fully Straight By The Time They Commit Suicide
* Now Who’s The Moral Majority?
How I feel this week. Thanks, pollen!
* If Single People Honestly Updated Their Facebook
* Everybody Hit Somebody – (A season with the Carolina Phoenix women’s football team)
* Houston Astros Sweater – (Gorgeous!)
* Philadelphia Phillies 1915-1919 Cap – (This will be mine. Oh yes!)
* John Hart May Never Make A Better Trade – (See ya’, Melvin!)
* Reeses Chocolate Peanut Butter Tart
* FLOTUS Michelle Obama Says Malia And Sasha Are Not Influential And I Love It
* We Need Star Trek Back On TV
* Shout Out To T’Pring’s Hairdo
* When My Friend Is Obsessing Over Her Crush Even Though He Clearly Doesn’t Like Her
* Obsessed
* Seven Big Signs You May Be Too Clingy
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“I’ve come to realize that what I always thought was my feeling of falling in love, feels very much like my feeling of anxiety.”
– Deanna Dennis
“[Y]our life is yours and no one else’s.”
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It’s Good To Be Accepted
My grandmother asked me at lunch if it’s the new style to cut your hair like a man.
Happy Easter!
Sigh.
Links of the Week – April 3, 2015
* Shatner Pays Tribute To Nimoy
* Astros Unveil The Eat-On-The-Go Chicken And Waffle Cone
* We Need A Middle Class President
* 5 Charts That Show How The Middle Class Is Disappearing
* Can We Guess What Your Reading Habits Say About Your Love Life? – (Mine was FRIGHTENINGLY correct.)
* How Old Do You Actually Act? – (I got 5-years-old. *sigh*)
* What My Zodiac Sign Says About Me – (Again, correct.)
* “I Thought I Was Bipolar” Shirt – (Need)
* PostSecret: I Feel Like A Hostage
* Monkey Meets Puppies For The First Time, Wants To Snuggle Them As Badly As Anyone Else – (Ow! My heart just exploded!)
* Tim Cook: Pro-Discrimination ‘Religious Freedom’ Laws Are Dangerous
* Moist Chocolate Cupcakes with Ganache Filling – (Proof that God loves us. He’d love me more if he’d magic these to my house.)
* The Problem With Cars And Self-Absorption
* The Spirit Of Atlanta: A Quest For Context Of 1920’s Atlanta – (Awesome old pictures of the city!)
* The Scandal Of A Crucified God (A Good Friday Reflection)
* The Importance Of Doubt (A Holy Saturday Reflection)
* When The Right To Discriminate Collides With The Rites Of Holy Week
* The Right’s Made Up God: How Bigots Created A White Supremacist Jesus
* How ‘One Nation’ Didn’t Become ‘Under God’ Until The 50s Religious Revival – (My favorite read of the week!)
* You Don’t Have To Go To Work On Opening Day Because The Brewers Wrote You An Excuse Note
* Watch Guys Attempt To Explain How Periods Work – (Hysterical. And a little sad. 🙂 )
* What The Hell Is That Tribble Doing?
* Rape Suspect Had Burns At Court Appearance – (I would get on a plane right now, given the opportunity, and go to Ohio and beat this fucker to death with my double wall Miken. PLEASE let me do it!)
* Transgender Elders Show Us The Meaning Of Survival
* ‘Child Abuse’ For A Girl To Dress Like A Boy? – (Sigh…)
* Man Thinking About Just Packing Up And Making Exact Same Mistakes Someplace Far Away
* What To Do When You Hate Yourself
* It’s All About Falling In Love With Yourself…
* The Girl Who Struck Out Babe Ruth And Lou Gehrig
* Girls Baseball Team Wins Championship At Boys’ Tournament – (Not just a little local tournament, a USSSA NATIONAL tournament!)
* Menswear Dog: The Most Stylish Dog In The World – (THIS! Blog of the Week!!!)
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“And when she is done, she will head for town, center, she will board the first bus she sees. Find a seat by a window, ride to the end of town.
And then? She stops. She does not know. She has not thought this part through. But it occurs to her then she can just keep on riding. It is possible, yes. She will just stay on the bus and ride. To some other place, some other town. She will look for it out all the windows. And when she sees it at last, she will know.”
– Some Other Town, Elizabeth Collison
“Death will get us all. Moreover, astrophysicists tell us, even the earth and the solar system will one day be destroyed as the sun explodes in its dying gasp. On a more finite level, life is filled with threats to our existence: accidents, disease, violence, unemployment, poverty. Life easily looks threatening.
If we do see reality this way, how will we respond to life? In a word, defensively. We will seek to build systems of security and self-protection to fend off the hostile powers as long as possible.”
– The Heart of Christianity, Marcus J. Borg
“It’s less embarrassing for people to think I look stupid when I intentionally look like a boy, than for them to think I look stupid when I’m trying my best to actually look like a woman.”
“I am also learning how to feel. I’m learning that it can be safe to experience emotions. Running away – literally and figuratively – only temporarily removed me from the pain I was feeling. In order to exercise in a healthy way, I had to learn how to feel without searching for a way to self-destruct. It’s been a massive struggle to learn to accept myself. I’ve had to work to believe that I am OK exactly the way that I am, that nothing needs to be ‘beaten’ out of me.”
– Kenzi Rome, http://twloha.com/blog/making-my-workouts-work-me
“[L]ook more closely at the hard things in life: They’re trying to tell you something if you’ll listen.”
– Tomboy, Liz Prince
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Straight Genderqueer Woman
I very specifically titled this blog “Straight Genderqueer Woman” because when I try to find people who might be like me, Google only comes up with this stuff. But I KNOW I can’t be alone. I am a unique, precious, ass-kicking flower. But it can’t be because I’m the only straight, genderqueer, woman in the world. (Born female sexed. Does this make me cis-gendered genderqueer? So confusing!) So I’m floating this out there to let other straight women out there who are challenging gender roles know they’re not alone.
I’m actually uncomfortable sometimes describing myself as “genderqueer.” I don’t want to co-opt a descriptor that’s not accurate and offend somebody. I really feel like it’s society’s expectations of how I should look and behave as a woman to be what is queer. That’s really the challenge I wrestle with the most in my head.
I struggle with the dichotomy between how I want to look and act, and how I think I have to look and act to attract men. So often this makes me think I’m doing something wrong, or am a broken woman or not a good enough woman.
But on the genderqueer side, I do remember feeling for a long time earlier in my life that I wasn’t a man or a woman. I didn’t even know that was a THING people could feel. It didn’t disturb me. It was just who I was.
I don’t feel that as greatly now, but I will tell you that when I look at women who are dressed very femininely, in short skirts and high heels, I don’t feel like I have anything in common with them gender-wise. (I also find myself thinking they’re stupid for dressing that way and I get angry at them. But it’s OK. I’m sure that’s something my therapist and I will get into….)
So whatever labels you paste on me, (’cause lawd knows I struggle to use the politically correct, culturally sensitive ones) just know that I’m me. I’m Deanna. And I’m trying to feel like that’s OK.
And know, that no matter what the internet says, if you are a woman who wants to look androgynous or like “a guy” and you’re into men, you’re OK too. And you’re not alone.
And guys, if you’re into this kind of thing, you’re single, you have a job, you’re kind, and you shower regularly, hit me up!
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Also, my “Gender Roles Are Dead” sweatshirt is available from FLAVNT!
For Me
I wonder if hair is sort of like the rings of cut trees. Does it hold the memories of its days? Can it retain the residue of warm, cozy diner breakfasts and awkward sleepovers, of disappointments and poor choices, of hurt feelings and unrequited desires?
Every time I grow my hair long it’s to try to prove to a man I’m feminine enough to be desirable. Love me! Love me! Love me! My desire for him overwhelms and obsesses me, but his desire for me is fleeting at best. Why do I even think that my hair will make a difference. I’m always me either way.
Every time I cut my hair off it’s because I’m done trying, because I’m just tired of fighting the fight, with my hair and for a man. Those other memories need to just go away.
This is for me.
Links of the Week – March 20, 2015
* Justice System to 13-Year-Old Girl: It’s Not Rape Because You Have Curves – (Women, if you’re not enraged yet, you’re not paying attention.)
* Cops On An 11-Year-Old Who Says She Was Raped: “Child’s Promiscuous Behavior Caused This”
* Pope Francis’s Pledge Of Zero Tolerance For Child Abusers Being Tested In Chile
* Alpha Males And Sexual Abuse Of Women
* Understanding Abusers: There Is No Stereotype For Offenders
* “I Am Called A Whore”: Ashley Judd Unloads On The Internet’s Grossest Trolls
* “Son Of A Bitch!” Jon Stewart Hammers “Disingenuous” GOP And “Dumb-Ass” Dems Over Anti-Sex Trafficking Fiasco – (As he should. Fuckers.)
* National Organization Of Women – (Stand up for women! God doesn’t seem to be helping.)
* Behold The Unexpected Awesomeness Of The Taco Doughnut
* Racist Oklahoma Video A Sign Of Regression In Race Relations In America
* Millennials Are More Racist Than They Think
* PostSecret: If Jesus Were Here – (He does…)
* Find A Death: The Death Of Jeanine Deckers: The Singing Nun – (“It took fourteen years for Jeannine to give up the ‘friend’ thing and sip from the furry cup and join the Order of the Practical Shoes.” And then I died! 😀 )
* Find A Death: The Death of Greg Plitt – (Leg day! 😀 )
* For When You Think That No One Will Ever Love You
* Disenchanted With Losing, Andy Landers Calls It Quits After 36 Years Of Coaching The Lady Dogs – (A pioneer in women’s basketball, and the only Lady Dog coach I’ve ever known.)
* Psalm 37: How To Receive The Desires Of Your Heart – (As long as God decides it’s OK. And he doesn’t have anything better to do. And he really exists. Now does that really sound like granting the desires of MY heart? No. It does not.)
* A Boy And Her Dog: Mail Is Not A Gender
* A Boy And Her Dog: Topless In The Locker Room
* A Womanonymous: Wild Offering – (Post of the Week)
* Black Bear Lodge Adventure Therapy – (I wonder how much this costs…)
* Workplace Suicide Rates Rise Sharply
* 21 Harsh Truths No One Tells Teens
* 5 Reasons To Suspect That Jesus Never Existed
* Catcher David Ross’ Approach To Game Anything But Routine – (Oh, Rossy! My favorite!)
* Contributions Of David Ross Go Beyond The Numbers
* Joe Maddon Is Binge-Watching ‘The Office’ At Cubs’ Spring Training – (Oh, Joe! My favorite!)
* Largest Group Of U.S. Presbyterian Churches Allows Same-Sex Marriages – (OK, Methodists. We’re starting to look like backward-ass snake handlers now! Left behind, indeed!)
* From Patrick Stewart’s Birthday Party – (Can I get these guys to come to my birthday party?!?)
* When People Ask Me About My Job
* For The Bodybuilder/Weightlifter/Harry Potter Fan In Your Life
* Sheetcake Arrives At Banquet Saying “Stewardshit” – (Also, DAVID TENNANT!)
* Fake Self-Help Books – (!!!)
* “Life’s Lil Pleasures” Mini Book – (The. BEST! ❤ ❤ ❤ )
* Nine Handy Curses Appropriate For Modern Life – (“May your coffee always be decaf.”)
* Creekside Cabin: Pet Friendly Cabin On The Creek – (It may be time to plan a vacation week…)
* You Can Now Anonymously Send A “Bag Of Dicks” To Your Enemies (Or Your Friends?)
* Awesomely Luvvie: “Pastor” Creflo Dollar Is Trying To Raise $65 Millon For A Plane
* Awesomely Luvvie: Dear Fellow Christians, About This Christ Crutch We Use To Justify Foolery…
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“Humans will always place our trust in things that will fail us. We will always insist on giving pieces of our heart to things that simply cannot love us back.”
– Nadia Bolz-Weber, “A Sermon On Addiction…”
“How come if you don’t give up on the person you love, the Hallmark Channel calls that ‘romance;” but on the Lifetime Network, if you don’t give up on the person you love, they call it ‘stalking?”’
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Dreaming Of Going Pro
Literally every night for the last two weeks I’ve dreamed that I and another woman or two have broken down the sex barrier in baseball and made a professional team. Every dream is different. The settings are different. The teams are different. The people are different. Each dream also usually includes a man I know from real life, who isn’t a baseball player in the waking world, but in the dream is also on the team with me.
Last night’s dream had me trying out for the Cincinnati Reds as a catcher. This is the first time in the dreams that I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through final cuts and actually make the team. Andy, who I worked with for a week last year on a youth retreat to Hinton Rural Life Center, was clearly going to be the starting catcher.
I usually have a softball dream or two this time of the year, a dream that I’m late for a game and stuff keeps happening to keep me from getting there. Stuff like needing to put in my contacts, but they’re the size of breast implants. Or I’m lost. Or a flood happens.
Softball season is imprinted in my brain after all this time, even though I haven’t played in six years. But I don’t remember having any baseball dreams before. And I’ve never had a dream that has recurred every night for weeks.
I wonder what this is all about. My brain is full of mysteries!
Links of the Week – March 13, 2015
* Pillsbury Crescent Rolls with Hershey’s Chocolate – (YESSS!)
* When I Hear The Word ‘Eschatology’ In A Coffee Shop
* Black Bodies In White Words – (When will white people quit telling black people that they’re wrong about their experiences as black people?)
* The 13th Juror: ‘A Bloody Spectacle’ — And The Will To Survive – (On the testimonies in the Boston Marathon Bombing trial. Exquisite. Disturbing. MY LINK OF THE WEEK.)
* Stop Futzing With Your Vagina!
* Top Blue Jays Prospect Daniel Norris Lives By His Own Code – (He lives in a van down by the river. Really.)
* Why I Need Feminism – (From the Trek world of all things)
* PostSecret: Sorry – (I’m sorry too… 😦 )
* 21 Reasons Why Cats Make The Best Roommates
* The Type Of Love Our Society Needs
* 31 Quotes From Children’s Books That Will Inspire You At Any Age
* Iran Offers To Mediate Talks Between Republicans And Obama
* Photos: From Grace Jones To Toni Morrison, Little Girl Dresses Up Like Black Heroines
* An Interview With A Regular Watch
* A Womanonymous: I Hate You, I Said…To Me – (“It’s the interacting with Glenn and everyone like him: Men who don’t choose me, but rather enjoy the spoils of interacting with me because I dote on them, crave them, flatter them, accept them, forgive them, open myself up to them, comfort them…” Yep. I feel this.)
* Blame Parents For Those Narcissist Kids
* Star Trek U.S.S. Enterprise Flying Disc – (!!!!!)
* Late Claude Sitton A Leader In Civil Rights Coverage
* This 4-Year-Old Girl Had The Best Response When A Boy In Class Called Her Ugly
* Is Your Child Stupid? Turn Him Into A Broom! – (Bizarre, but awesome!)
* What If The Most Scary 80s Film Horror Characters Were Alive Now?
* Watch The Real, Actual Michael Bolton Do Office Space
* amalah: My American Boy – (Gender Roles Are Dead!)
* Crispy Cream Cheese Wontons with Caramel-Nutella Sauce
* Three Ingredient Flourless Peanut Butter Cake
* Cinnamon Roll Cheesecake – (Lawsy!)
* New Frosted Lemonade From Chick-Fil-A
* Have You Recently Upset Someone? – (You may need to use these Apuglogies…)
* 19 People Who Triumphed In Times Of Desperation
* Only Take This Quiz If You’re Feeling Lonely
* Can Football Save France In Post Charlie Hebdo World?
* Jury Takes An Hour To Convict Accused Child Molester – (Douglasville)
* DA: ‘Danger To Children Of Community’ Sentenced – (Douglasville)
* Sexual Misconduct Cases Reported At Smyrna, Georgia Schools – (“Parents generally not informed”)
* Doctor Pleads Guilty To Four Child Exploitation Charges – (Sandy Springs)
* Covington Man Arrested At Gas Station Where He Thought He Was Meeting 14-Year-Old Girl For Sex
* “He Minimized The Truth” – A Stephen Collins Accuster Speaks Out
* Jupiter’s Moon Ganymede Has A Salty Ocean With More Water Than Earth
* And Guess Who’s Not A Captain Any More…
* Tomorrow Is Yesterday – (More Trek)
* As A Failure, I’ve Learned To Appreciate The Little Things In Life
* Fraternity Members To Undergo Racial Sensitivity Hazing – (“The release also described a similar hazing program aimed at curtailing sexual assault by requiring undergraduates to write ‘no means no’ using a Sharpie clenched in their anus.”)
* Relieved Malia Obama Quietly Thanks Secret Service Agents For Taking Rap For Her
* Therapy Is Work, But Worth It: What You Should Know
* Mind-Boggling Shadow Art From Trash Sculptures – (Amazing!)
* The ‘I Feel Like A Child’ Syndrome
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“I turned and headed for home, my cheeks burning in the brisk wind. A drunk was someone to be reckoned with, someone interesting and far-gone. I should have been alarmed and ashamed, should have considered joining all those chain-smokers in church basements – I knew what I was supposed to feel. But the sunlight covered the street with the clear healthy gold of ale, the brownstone faces were burnished the toast-warm color of bourbon in candlelight,the air was clear and lively as gin, and something leapt in me, a persistent little flame of self. Drunks didn’t set themselves apart, didn’t look down on anyone – they sat shoulder-to-shoulder with everyone in the bar, awash in fellow-feeling, the roar of the surf in their heads so loud it made time stop, washed away everything except whatever was right here, everyone bobbing together on a sweet, warm flood of oceanic feeling. It could either drown or sustain you, depending.”
– In The Drink, Kate Christensen
“I unwrapped one of the frozen lasagnas and stuck it into the toaster oven to bake, then popped open the champagne and took a few swigs. This reminded me of William, which gave me an intense pain in my sternum that radiated outward in spokes like a red-hot bicycle wheel.”
– In The Drink, Kate Christensen
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Links of the Week – March 6, 2015
* Scientists Designed Music For Cats, And It Is Pretty Beautiful – (Seriously. My cats perked up when I played it for them!)
* Uhura
* The Original Number One – (From the Trek pilot…. Gorgeous!)
* PostSecret: Angry Toaster Strudel
* Amalah: The Loss Of Spock – (Even children know the wonder of Trek…)
* CNN Apologizes For Putin “Jihadi John” Gaffe – (Snort! 😀 )
* Golden Girls Prayer Candles – (I have died.)
* Hyperbole and a Half: Sneaky Hate Spiral
* Gentlemen, your sons will grow up to become like you…
* Julia: Hermit We Hardly Knew Ye – (Blog Post of the Week!)
* Scarification Gallery – (Kinda scary. But kinda cool, too.)
* Wil Wheaton dot Net: Remembering Leonard Nimoy – (“Mister Spock made it okay for me to be the weird kid who eventually grew into a slightly-less weird adult…”)
* Boyfriend Plans Magical Evening Down To The First Detail
* Teacher Who Dedicates Her Life To Students ‘Total Fucking Bitch’
* EXPOSED: What Trans People Do In The Bathroom
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“My presence in my own life had become so tenuous, so half-hearted, that I had simply fallen through a tear in the flimsy fabric, slid into an alternate universe where only I existed, or conversely, where everyone existed but me. And it didn’t matter. I felt a sucking undertow, pulling me down: I had failed to engage, I had failed to connect; I had failed.”
– In The Drink, Kate Christensen
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A Long Run 
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