Two Kinds Of Humility
I’m going back to Tae Kwon Do tonight after two or three weeks in hiding. I was so embarrassed and frustrated last time I was there because I just couldn’t get my last poomsae right that I need for my first belt test. I don’t want to say I quit for a while (I did.), I was just ashamed to show my face there.
In the meantime, I did what I should’ve all along and just went on the internet and learned how to do the damned thing in about five minutes.
But now I’m a little embarrassed to swallow my pride and go back to class because I’ve been gone so long.
Here’s what confuses me about that. Over the summer, I went on a mission trip with my church. While we were there, I made a disparaging eye roll towards a man who was sharing about his day. Somebody called me on it, I realized I had been a jerk and I went to the man in the dining hall the next day apologized and asked him to come sit with us and talk for a while. It made both of us feel lighter, forgiven and reassured that we shared God’s grace.
I have no real problem admitting when I’m wrong and am, most times, humble enough to go to the person I’ve wronged to apologize, try to reach some understanding and ask for forgiveness.
So what is the difference in that kind of humility, and the humility that allows me to walk back into Tae Kwon Do this afternoon with my head up?